Happiness is the longing for repetition. ~ Kundera
"Go home" has its own word in Indonesian, Pulang. One verb. What does that say about the Indonesian language? What is it that makes pulang so important that they gave its own verb? I mean, I understand why eat, sleep and laugh are important verbs, but why pulang? Where are they returning to? A place, a woman, an 11:36:02? Or was it just a freak linguivolutionary glitch: that this whole life is a return-trip?
Throw me a sentence that has the word return in it, and find me soaked in nostalgia. How quickly I jumped at the theme, fingers and knuckles warm with words. And how dangerous; for it must be important that humans are allowed to press the Universal Reverse button.
Do you want to do this again? Re-Turn. Turn back. No, wait. Aren't we going around in circles? Doesn't matter. We're recyclable. Our ideas, flesh and heartbreaks are recyclable. The world is round so wherever we're going we're going to end up back in square one, you know?
Return to root: New month, dying season. I blog, you read. We happy. I birthday, you sing. We happy. We remember, we forget, we happy. Amen.
Perhaps Kundera is right. Significantly he didn't return to Czechoslovakia after '90.
ReplyDeleteHe knows repetition stays out of reach. Longing for it is as close as it can get. Why not call that happiness.
Life is not circular. Arriving home you don't find what you left. I think it's rather spiral. And I'm not sure whether upwards or downwards though :).
PS: "fingers and knuckles warm with words". Beautiful :).
Indeed, why not, if "In the sunset of dissolution, everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia, even the guillotine."? It can all be pretty depending on the light.
ReplyDeleteAnd how I love your spiral metaphor. <3
Spiral. <3
ReplyDeleteYou know, in Maranao, "go home" ("baling ka") has a negative connotation, always. Even when it is meant as "come home", the change of imperative is a poor stand-in for warmth. It always means "you've failed. You're done. There's nowhere else to go but home."
It's funny like that because Maranaos are very family-oriented, very clannish, and very close to home.
I don't take to "go home" kindly. Not even from Kundera. DON'T go home. Make home come to you.
Nessie, is the negative connotation applied to both genders?
ReplyDeleteYou remind me how generations of Asian women flung their daughters to the farthest ends of Earth, just to avoid the shame of baling ka.
Does it ever stop stinging?
Yes, both genders, old and young alike. Maybe that's why parents are so proud to announce when their kids are abroad, or somewhere far from home.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the "nicer" way for them to say things is: "Visit home", which of course means that it should be temporary.
I don't even visit. ;)