البهللة: هي البكش المفضوح من قبل الطرفين - @MahSabbagh

Happy National Day!

As a Saudi, I like Saudi as it is. I love Jeddah as it is. But if I may suggest a few changes on the following items, it'd be even nicer to be Saudi and live there.

Public Behavior:

  1. Not get (nearly) killed for being in or near a moving vehicle (highest traffic death toll)
  2. Not get killed while performing Hajj and Umrah
  3. Not get killed for arguing with authority
  4. Not get hooted at for taking a walk on the Pregnant Wall, the beach or the mall
  5. Not get hooted at for showing up in public without Abaya (girls) or Shmagh & Thobe (boys)
  6. Not get killed for expressing non-conformist ideas on TV, Internet, print publication or dress-code
  7. Not get incarcerated for being at mixed-sex parties or movie screening
  8. Not get assumed of flirtation for smiling and being courteous to strangers
  9. Not get killed for taking pictures of women in public
  10. Not die while waiting for a guardian's consent to work, travel, issue legal documents, get married, divorce, giving birth, enter court of law, and owning property (Boys up to the age of 25. Girls until they start shitting gold)

Work:

  1. Not get judged for starting, running and working for independent non-profit organizations
  2. Not get slowly roasted for NOT working at for-profit organizations
  3. Not get judged for being Saudi and work as a janitor, Baqalakeeper, servant, driver, builder, nanny, maidservant, officeboy/girl, etc.

Relationships:

  1. Not get judged for being Saudi AND unmarried in your 30s (it's the 21st century for Vimto'ssake!)
  2. Not get killed for being unmarried AND lacking virginity
  3. Not get killed for being Saudi and wanting to marry your un-Saudi sweetheart
  4. Not get killed for PDAs (Public Displays of Affection) between opposite sexes
  5. Not get killed for openly converting to an alternative sect, religion or sexual orientation

Others:

  1. Not get killed for being a pluralist, hence having no violent opinion towards most things. Especially on National Days.
  2. Not get killed for writing this. Hihi.

Anything to add? Thanks for reading and leaving comments.

PS. This post go-toot-tiny

 
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