
Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening. ~Maya Angelou
Jealousy is unpleasant. It stands on fear. It's related to hate and anger and fat. If you keep it around, it will infect your soul, effecting everything else in your world. Food becomes tasteless, your will get sickly, and even colors look gloomier (research found that unpleasant emotions tighten the veins around the eyes, hence effecting colors).
So, when jealousy strikes, what do you do?
First of all, acknowledge it.
You might have been accused obsessive possessiveness. Or maybe it's just PMS. Either ways, find out when, where, how, why and with whom does it feel bad? As a rule, jealousy occurs only when there are three people involved. And it rarely happens to people who are assured of themselves. The cool and honest don't get jealous.
Next, fix it.
Arabic is a masculine language, so it's usually the guys who throw the word "jealous" around. Whereas in English, jealousy is more of a feminine attribute. Either ways, jealousy doesn't get fixed when you tell your beloved not to work in an egalitarian office environment, and keeping a 24/7 watch is exhausting to both of you.
So here's what I'm suggesting instead:
1. Join them
Jealousy is an awkward homage which inferiority renders to merit. ~Mme. de Puixieux
What is it about the third person that bothers you so much? Let's say you hate his fluency in French. You probably can say "Merci" and "Bonsoir!", but that's about it. Here's a good time to start improving. Start with saying "tu me manques tellement", followed by a French kiss and prolonged foreplay. You get where I'm going? Self-improvement is the word, mate! Turn heads by beating your rivals in their element.
Too complicated? Try the next solution.
2. Beat them
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. ~Ambrose Bierce
So maybe linguistic eloquence has never been your element, and you'd rather try something else to impress. Great! What are you good at? Making a kickass steak? Massage? Or both at the same time? Scrub on those talents and let them shine. Then show it off. Some things just can't be changed, and it's more convenient to celebrate your assets than splurging on crash course in French Grammar.
But if neither of the above works...
3. Drop them
In jealousy there is more self-love than love. ~ François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld
...and you're out of tricks but your beloved is still adamant in looking the other way? You know what, maybe you've been swimming in the wrong pond. Maybe you've been aiming too high or too low. Maybe, just maybe, you guys aren't supposed to spend so much effort on trying to accept each other, rather than accepting your individualities first.
Gather yourself and your friends, then shut your mouth and move out before you waste more time on a bullheaded jackass. Better now than later, before you get stuck with kids in between. And if kids are the actual reason why you can't move out, then focus on them and preserve your dignity with charity and kindness.
For your own sake.
The underline is, if you're jealous a lot, either that you're not trying hard enough, or that you can't see your own qualities or that you've attached your heart on the wrong person.
Simple, na?
Now tell me, when was the last time you were jealous? What did you do?
6 afterthinkers:
"Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others" not too many people have the balls to admit that!
i dont usually get jealous. if i do, i sit down and think it over.
last time i got jealous was quite a while ago, i thought it through and decided to not act on it. two weeks later i found out i had a reason to feel jealous, he was cheating on me with her. he didnt know i found out, broke up with him anyway. blamed it on something else.
It's almost impossible to accuse someone of cheating unless they said it themselves. That's why the verdict against adultery requires 4 witnesses or the sinners confession.
Then again,
Women always know. I'm glad you left him.
I don't get jealous. I don't put my man on a leash and neither does he. We have our male and female friends, and so far there's been minimal problem. I just hope it's us till the end of time.
A very sensible post Hning. A little jealousy is desirable but most often people are bad judges of how much is beneficial and how much is detrimental to the fine mixture of love and passion.
Coral,
I used to. When my younger brother was born. I always gave him things with my left hand, indicating my insincerity to him. I felt like my mother's love for me was halved.
When my youngest brother was born, though, he took ALL the love from both me and my younger brother. That's when I got tired of jealousy and gave up on trying.
Very traumatic experiences for my 7 years old self.
Lady J.,
How do we know when it becomes too much? Or, in some cases, too little?
When my younger siblings were born I don't remember ever getting jealous. I don't know, maybe I just didn't think about it or maybe I didn't have time to be jealous.
Maybe I'm autistic? lol
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