I've never read Nobokov's Lolita, nor have I been sexually attracted to children, but I get offended every time a blog/article speaks with disgust about child marriages. As if child-adult marriages are based on the rigid equation:
To have the attacks coming from Muslims hurt even more because they seem to have a blind side to their religion.
[If you want to skip all the fun and go straight to the general overview, click here.]
Let me guess what you're thinking about child marriages, and let me tell you why you're so naive to think that it's all about perversion.
That a child's innocence should be preserved and be considered holy.
Come now, Adults, give me a freaking break and tell me when is the earliest age that a child starts to experience pleasurable sensations around their genitals? At what age are they capable of experiencing orgasm and masturbation? If you're Freudian, it's Pubescence. If you're human, it's 3 years old - ever seen an infant who hangs on to his Willy a lot? It may be asexual behavior, but if he's doing it a lot, you think he's not having much fun there?
That a marriage robs a child from an innocent childhood.
Define Innocence, and I shall show you how unfamiliar you are with children.
- How many children are really enjoying their childhood as orphans to the society?
- How many are bullied into suicides and massacres and war?
- How many are bullied into formal education that they haven't the heart for, or be pawned as their parents' trophy, or neglected in return for toys?
- How many are you able to guarantee a child's safety if he/she is left unattended?
What we often neglect when we judge against child marriages is that a marriage is supposed to be a secure constitution where the parties involved provide protection and respect for each other.
That an adult who marries a child is pedophile pervert.
Step back a little. A pedophile pervert is someone who forces his/her sexual satisfaction on somebody's expense. The same definition goes for rape.
If we are arguing that child marriages shouldn't be religiously okay, then we have to find out why it was okay in the first place. And in all the religions, raping your wife is not okay.
With women, sex is about security: How safe are her interests had this man been allowed to take control of her body or life? If a grown man is capable of causing the sense of security in a little woman, isn't that enough to drop perversion from his resume?
We don't understand what could be going in the Prophet's mind when he married a 6 years old child, because NOBODY BOTHERS TO GO BEYOND THE AGE ARGUMENT!
OR THE SEX PART!!
But, humor me, do most of you get married just for sex?
That child marriages only occur between an adult and a child. Pah! Romeo and Juliet were 14 and 13 in Shakespearean literature. My great-grandparents were 17 and 14. Madonna had her first sexual intercourse when she was 15. Who else? Ah, yes, the poor Indians.
That it is always better to preserve a child's innocence for as long as possible.
On whose account is that, his parents'? And if he commits the sin of adultery, do you think the parents' aren't the ones to carry the burden?
A child, no matter how childish, once he expresses his sexual orientations, should be considered of marriageable age. He does not, however, cease from becoming his parent's child. Or do you think you are no longer a father, or a mother, once your son is married?
The guardians who allow their children to marry are financially motivated.
When done correctly, a dowry should never be too pricey, especially since marriage has been designed to give security and provision for both parties. But then again, what if the bride is an orphan and nobody is there to care for her?
In our protectiveness to our own children, we ASSUME that EVERY adult involved in child marriages are basically just selling their children into sexual slavery.
We often neglect to take in consideration is that, in some circumstances, marriage becomes the only legitimate reason that a man can be a woman's guardian. Those of you who have been widowed and single-again in their times must know how lonely it is to fend for your self by yourself.
Imagine if you were just a teenage girl/boy going through that kind of loneliness. How big are your chances to come out of it with a clear life purpose?
That a marriage should only be done between responsible and consenting adults.
The texts state that children can be married when they know the difference between what's right and wrong (سن التمميز). Theoretically, that happens even before the onset of puberty, often at 12, or even 9.
- Have you ever taught in an all-girl junior high school? One word to describe that: Carrie. They're nothing less than the adults they're copying.
The problem between clerics and humans: the lack of middle sense. Fact is, most of us ordinary folks are too awed by the tabloid-factor in religion. We can't reinterpret religion for daily use. Whereas the clerics who study these religions are often too shattered in their perversion, maintaining that image of holiness by claiming and demanding cleanliness of thought within religious context.
The religion I'm affiliated with is based on a book that explicitly discusses the knots and bolts of male-female relationships. It mentions what is incestuous and what is not. It mentions menopause and a man's ability to keep making love even in later age. It even discusses menstruation and kinky.
Which brings us to the bridge I've been trying to build in your Canonized and Victorian-esque doctrine-filled minds: That religion is not inhumanly clean, nor ridiculously vulgar. It's humane. Religion understands/acknowledges/agrees with human nature. It's actually useless if it goes against it.
Heck, if God was the One who installed instincts, He must have been in the know about how these instincts would later effect human behavior. And if religion really was coming from Him, he would have set it as a behavioral frame to how mankind should react to their natural instincts.
If you've ever been attracted to tabloids for cheap entertainment, it's the same reason why some of us just can't get over the wrong-side of child marriages. People often highlight the most insane parts of a news clip, just to make it even more supportive to their arguments.
Now, I don't think that every child should be married right off, just as much as I don't think that a lot of us should be married at all, considering the irresponsible spouses that we might have become. I do believe though, that religion isn't designed by perverted fools who are desperate for excuses to satiate their hedonist hunger. And I do know that a lot of us are foolish more than often than we might want to admit.
So please, stop calling wolf at every child-adult marriage reported in the news. You're flagging the wrong cause. And you look silly while you're at it.
Wishing you a thoughtful day,
Aren't you sorry you missed my arguments? Click here to return to beginning of post.
If you're vehemently against child marriages, here are the links that'll help you form an argument against what's been written here.
- Child Marriage Fact-Sheet. Special courtesy by the UN hypocrites.
- ICRW, another bunch of hypocrites, will provide the tool kits and campaign procedures here.
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