I'm astounded. In the poll about whether or not my readers want to know more about dating in Saudi, 6 out of 7 voted "Yes". If any of you Yessirs are single and actually come here to know more dating tips – in Saudi, of all places?! – are you THAT desperate?
Not that I won't write about it again. I might. If…
…If you look back, throughout the years of this blog's miserable existence, I mainly wrote stumbling blabbers about heretic-antisocial beliefs and stories that are supposed to link myths with everyday living. Supposedly, there are lessons in these stories, and I might have missed the punch line like I often do, so I retell them to you, in case you can make better use learning from it.
Most Saudi dating stories I've heard are dangerous to the parties involved. And I mean dangerous is that, since the society denies it, it's just like drug dealing and gambling in conservative societies, or leftist journalism in a communist country, or smoking in my mother's house. Viewers', doers' and readers' discretion is highly suggested through all its stages.
So why promote it? Writing about dating in Saudi, or dating anywhere, or writing about anything at all, is not because I encourage or discourage such "deviant behavior", but because I believe in what every writer believes in: That their craft provides the readers with options. Looking at how others lived their lives, provides you with choices upon how YOU would have (wanted to) lived yours. Isn't that why biographies are published?
You may not immediately jump out of your window to find your true love by the end of this post (I sure hope you won't! You are supposed to be good to the environment and shut down all unnecessary electrical appliances before you jump), but you may learn how others have made such decisions, and what of their choices you might want to apply on your own search.
…if I do write about dating in Saudi again, it'd only because I am inclined to believe that you're just looking for someone to wake up with in the morning, a companion and a witness to your life.
At least until you realize that you've always been a complete person, all along, whatever your social status may be.
The last time I wrote about dating in Saudi, was when somebody was generous enough to ask those specific questions. This blog is Anonymous-Comment enabled, and my email is listed on my profile. I would rather you asked; because, probably a lot of you know, I'm usually gracious enough to respond without completely insulting your intelligence.
What do you want to know about dating in Saudi?
Wishing you a lovely New Year,
Stop Wasting Everyone's Time
You're a narcissist and would love nothing more than having a story made out of your life. You have a knack for details and dialogue, if you can stop from becoming obsessive. Chances are, you indulge on sadistic tendencies by forcing everyone to read your story, then watch them gag and vomit and die from boredom. The joy is in watching their unsuspecting faces go: "What the hell did I just waste my life on?" And nothing would please you more than millions of people tricked into seeing your story on the big screen after threatening your more-talented baby brother into making it.
You're a Nuerotic and Egoistic Blogger
You think you are a well liked, though underrated, blogger. But you're WRONG; people don't visit your blog because they want to spare themselves the bullshit. You convince yourself that you're nice and are likely to blog for a cause. But secretly you know that you're doing it because you're an attention whore.
A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others just to show off that you know more English words than everybody else.
You Are an Arse!
Your blog tries to be smart, insightful, and a quality read. But you blunder at common sense and you're too anti-social to know your feet from your mouth. Of all the blogging types, you put the most vain thought and effort into your blog, which eventually nobody cares about. If only you could be less generic and self-centered!!! Get a life for crying out loud!!
PS: Answers like the ones up there can only appear on your results if you write them yourself. Blogthings are too nice to be THAT obnoxious, you know what I mean?
Press (Ctrl + W) or (Alt + F4) whenever you feel the need to vomit. Vote on the poll (top of sidebar) to stress your opinion. I listen.
[Update: Poll is now closed. Click here for the feedback post. Or just scroll up, for heaven's sake.]
How does dating in Saudi work?
How does any dating anywhere work? Dating is courtship, a behavior of choosing mates. Whether it's life mate, diving mate, best mate, class mate, roommate, play mate.
Traditionally it goes like this: You meet someone who ticks your fancy. One of you proposes a plan of spending time together. One of you agrees. The date happens. Then you evaluate whether you want to date some more or you would rather date someone else. If you're lucky, and you've dated long enough, you might have the chance to make it to the sex-date.
The Sex Date.
In a lot of sitcoms, this is usually the third date. Which is creepy and risky by any standards. The sex date should happen only when both parties are really, really comfortable with each other. Some folks can only be so comfortable after the wedding, and that's fine. Some folks sex date every first date, and that's bestial and oh-so WRONG.
Can the sex date happen in Saudi?
Yes, sex is the basic reason why animals and people date. Just like in the animal kingdom, sex is a commodity with different pricing levels. It is the appraisal that makes the dating scene so colorful and this blog so interesting. Haha.
In the animal kingdom, males need to prove that they are able to provide sustenance, and the females assess whether or not these offerings fit their fancy. Humans have more complex desire system and SOME would want to get laid just for the sake of it. Now in my black-and-white opinion (and in my mother's voice), humans who settle for less than the basics animal prerequisites for a sex date (a.k.a. sustenance) are just tragic.
Dating in Saudi is doable. It can be enjoyable and for what it's worth, can end up in long term commitments.
Dating in Saudi is not to be taken for granted. Generally speaking, no protection method provides 100% prevention from pregnancy and STD.
Dating is not an option that can be applied by for everyone.
How did the dating scene change in the past little while?
Crash course in history: people dated from the days of Layla w Majnoon, Antara and his Babe, Sulaiman and Sheba. After graduating from elementary school, my classmates and brothers dated, heaven knows what happened in college and beyond. You can blame Bluetooth, the internet, GSM phones, even little torn pieces of paper with phone numbers on it, but the idea is obviously the same: Dating has always been around.
Where to Find a Date in Saudi.
The good news is that you're not the only one who's looking. The dating scene is lush with potentials. Whatever your intent maybe, there's market for most sorts of folks. Although I still wondering if there're BDSM clubs in Jeddah.
Hospitals, schools, institutes, good causes. Be involved. Don't just show up to drool. You're missing the entire point.
Diving, photography, literature, medical, education, internet communities that arrange meetings on diverse frequencies.
Forums, deviantart, facebook, blogoshpere. If you're patient you are actually increasing your chances meeting folks you actually like. The challenge is that you actually HAVE. TO. STAND. OUT.
Private parties (considering the risks, I wanted to leave this out because it's something I wouldn't do), embassies, bazaars, movie premiers (where the hottest, smartest and bored-est folks gather over some amateurish movie done by some Saudi who happens to be my little brother. I'll tip you the next time he gives another premier) .
Weddings and wakes and everything in between. Same sex gatherings with folks who have siblings and children from the opposite sex who might have hobbies and brains. The drawback to this is that you also get to meet the cousins and aunts you've been avoiding.
Is it really so common to date in Saudi?
Depends on location, community, and interests. Jeddah is pretty laid back, loaded with cafes and meeting places and events. And of course, the cool ones live in Jeddah.
Having a hobby actually increases your chances in finding dates and makes you look hotter than midday Saudi sun. My brother makes movies, so whenever he's desperate for a smart pickup line, his movies do all the talking for him. My cousin is a mutawwa, he didn't date or talk to girls unrelated to him, but he married a beautiful (in every sense) girl nevertheless.
What kind of bullshit is this?
Hey, man, you asked. Learn to appreciate bullshit, because nobody would write so much of it if they didn't know it well. You are gifted with ultra-superior mental processes compared to primates, which endows you with the ability to sieve through information. Think, man, don't just swallow it whole.
How valid is all of this information?
Information is worthless without comprehension. Comprehension is useless without faith. It doesn't matter what anyone knows or thinks or says, because at the end, truth is only what confirms with your conscience. So I hope you maintain to have a clear one.
Who are you kidding? Saudi Arabian dwellers – by statistic, observation and experience – are probably the most sexually suppressed human beings on the planet. You can prove this by leaving your house without an abaya. If you happen to be a guy, try imagining your sister walking in front of your best male friend in her house dress.
There's always that distinctive line between seeing a date and risking a reputational catastrophe. The baseline is, if you can tell your mother about it, then chances are that you're there for legitimate reasons. If can't tell momma or your sister about a date you're going on, then don't leave home without a condom. Ever.
The other option? Don't date in Saudi.
That's even more unlikely, isn't it? Naturally, everyone gets interested in the other sex on the strike of teenage years. Parents are supposed to provide the middle grounds in explaining about the opposite sex. Not by frightening a teenager about the dangers of copulation and promises of eternal damnation, but with a straight, scientific face.
And even that can't guarantee copulation-less dates.
So here are the basic considerations BEFORE you decide on dating in JEDDAH, SAUDI ARABIA:
1. If it's too much burden on your conscience, then you're not ready to date.
2. If you're afraid getting caught, then you're not ready to date.
3. If you're still tempted even though you're scared shitless, then you have to fully realize what risks you're putting on your body and your family's name and honor. Some kids are lucky to have supportive/authoritative parents. Some kids get shot in head.
4. If he really loves you, then he definitely would care about how comfortable you are, whether or not you guys are in sizzling terms.
5. Ask yourself why you want to date. Do you just want to know what a guy is like? Or do you just want to scratch an itch? This sets the mind frame for the rest of your dating career.
6. If anything he's suggesting strikes any bell, even the tiniest tinkle, then it's a warning sign. Pay heed to that and spare blaming yourself later.
7. If he insists on meeting you in a place where you're not comfortable in, chances are that he has seen a lot of other girls in that very place, and you're the latest addition to the top of his list. Consider that everytime he feeds garbage to your ears.
8. If a warning sign strikes, and you still want to see this guy, give an alternative. If Café Aroma or Albaik are too claustrophobic, try Casper's or Starbucks. Being seen by others adds more safety, and contrary to common perspective, Jeddawis nowadays are less judgmental at the sight of a dating couples. Seriously, everyone dates these days. Just don't go where your parents go.
9. Do your research. Go with people you trust to the designated dating place BEFORE the actual date (so you don't lose your cool!). See how much privacy you need compared to how well you know your date.
10. Tip heavily. And I mean the waiters, not your date. Waiters have seen all sorts of patrons ; building tip-based trust with them is not degrading, it's an asset and convenience. It's your safety you're paying for. Unless, it's the waiters you want to flirt with.
Have fun dating, and take care of yourself.