Bring condoms.
Who are you kidding? Saudi Arabian dwellers – by statistic, observation and experience – are probably the most sexually suppressed human beings on the planet. You can prove this by leaving your house without an abaya. If you happen to be a guy, try imagining your sister walking in front of your best male friend in her house dress.
There's always that distinctive line between seeing a date and risking a reputational catastrophe. The baseline is, if you can tell your mother about it, then chances are that you're there for legitimate reasons. If can't tell momma or your sister about a date you're going on, then don't leave home without a condom. Ever.
The other option? Don't date in Saudi.
That's even more unlikely, isn't it? Naturally, everyone gets interested in the other sex on the strike of teenage years. Parents are supposed to provide the middle grounds in explaining about the opposite sex. Not by frightening a teenager about the dangers of copulation and promises of eternal damnation, but with a straight, scientific face.
And even that can't guarantee copulation-less dates.
So here are the basic considerations BEFORE you decide on dating in JEDDAH, SAUDI ARABIA:
1. If it's too much burden on your conscience, then you're not ready to date.
2. If you're afraid getting caught, then you're not ready to date.
3. If you're still tempted even though you're scared shitless, then you have to fully realize what risks you're putting on your body and your family's name and honor. Some kids are lucky to have supportive/authoritative parents. Some kids get shot in head.
4. If he really loves you, then he definitely would care about how comfortable you are, whether or not you guys are in sizzling terms.
5. Ask yourself why you want to date. Do you just want to know what a guy is like? Or do you just want to scratch an itch? This sets the mind frame for the rest of your dating career.
6. If anything he's suggesting strikes any bell, even the tiniest tinkle, then it's a warning sign. Pay heed to that and spare blaming yourself later.
7. If he insists on meeting you in a place where you're not comfortable in, chances are that he has seen a lot of other girls in that very place, and you're the latest addition to the top of his list. Consider that everytime he feeds garbage to your ears.
8. If a warning sign strikes, and you still want to see this guy, give an alternative. If Café Aroma or Albaik are too claustrophobic, try Casper's or Starbucks. Being seen by others adds more safety, and contrary to common perspective, Jeddawis nowadays are less judgmental at the sight of a dating couples. Seriously, everyone dates these days. Just don't go where your parents go.
9. Do your research. Go with people you trust to the designated dating place BEFORE the actual date (so you don't lose your cool!). See how much privacy you need compared to how well you know your date.
10. Tip heavily. And I mean the waiters, not your date. Waiters have seen all sorts of patrons ; building tip-based trust with them is not degrading, it's an asset and convenience. It's your safety you're paying for. Unless, it's the waiters you want to flirt with.
For a gentler take on this issue, trackback to American Bedu's original post: Saudi Guide to Dating
Have fun dating, and take care of yourself.
10 afterthinkers:
Nice post!
I love the * Just don't go where your parents go* lol!
There are many loopholes in the quest for a soulmate, never hurts to publish a few pointers and you made some good ones, especially about the bells ringing. Always, àlways listen to any bell ringing! Don't let our society's and cultures teach you to ignore the little bells, they are always right!
Thank you, Aafke,
I think that these same rules are applicable in most dating platforms. I was just repeating what every girl (and guy) should have in mind when going on that Soulmate Quest, Saudi or not. God bless them bells for being so universal and available with every step we take. :)
It's an honor to have you here. Welcome to my bucket of ramblings.
These rules are appropriate in America, as well, for anyone at all.
Expat 21
Expat Abroad
expat21.wordpress.com
Hahaha!!! Makes me want to make a similar post!!!
hah.. ditto. I could scrounge my memory for a dating tip guide to Riyadh--sadly none of my old places still exist, and the chances of being shot in the head increase as you go eastward in Saudi.
That being said, I've found that avoiding the whole shpeal in Saudi is wiser. The ratio of psycho to normal is just not in our favor, I wouldn't brave those odds.
Isn't that right, Expat21? Makes you think that Saudi is, in a lot of ways, just like any other place in the world, no?
Aye! And good luck in finding your mate, Coralbead.
Where were you looking, Trev, iamdatingsaudisopleaseshootme.com? *grins*
these rules don't necessarily apply to America, going on a date is not a big deal. doesn't require a long list of careful considerations. 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9 out of question around here, plus 4... love doesn't come into the picture for a looong time! don dare utter the word on the first dozen dates or more!
Dating Saudi girls is easy as long as you don't mind having her stoned to death at some point!
@Dating Guide,
Who were you dating, the King's wife?
i dont know why i thought dating is illegal in saudia.
thanks for the post!
Post a Comment