كفـرت بجنسـيـتي و ألحدت بالوطـن
تجردت عن الهويـة و الاسـم و العنوان
هـأنا ذا: متغـطرس بدائـي و إصراري
أقر بكفري و إلحادي عن دولتي و لا أبالي
أشهــد أن لا حياة لمن لا يؤمن بالحرية
و أشهد أن وطني مجمد في جبل من حديد
فيا وطني،
تقبلي مني عناد, و تقبلي مني إنــكار
إنني بما بين ترابك و سماؤك خائن غدار
تجردت عن الهويـة و الاسـم و العنوان
هـأنا ذا: متغـطرس بدائـي و إصراري
أقر بكفري و إلحادي عن دولتي و لا أبالي
أشهــد أن لا حياة لمن لا يؤمن بالحرية
و أشهد أن وطني مجمد في جبل من حديد
فيا وطني،
تقبلي مني عناد, و تقبلي مني إنــكار
إنني بما بين ترابك و سماؤك خائن غدار
It took me just half-an-hour to write that poem. It took me a week of reluctance to publish it in this blog. I saw a YouTube clip of Zaynab Hifni talking about our country (yes, yours and mine and hers),
and these words just popped out of my head in Arabic. I know it’s very badly written (can’t be a great writer in ALL my languages, can I?), but you get my point.
(I imagine you shaking your head after reading that poem,
saying something like: "يا بنت الحلال, اعقلي")
4 afterthinkers:
You can’t renounce a country that is not yours to begin with, not only you never accepted your adopted country, you never accepted your religion which many of your Indonesian country men, and women believe in. Reading some of your blogs, I’m absolutely certain that you are a disgrace to your motherland, as much as you were a disgrace of your adopted country of Saudi Arabia. People like you always make others think that they are rebelling against the country many restrictions, but in fact you are rebelling against your religion. Its quite simple premarital sex, and alcohol, which you seem to be very fond of, is a big no no in Islam. Its Islam, and not the government that orders you not to do these things, well its too bad you were raised in a strict Moslem country…so Indonesia enjoy your long lost daughter….and I’m sure Saudi Arabia already got over you………..
My dear anonymous,
First and foremost, thank you for your comment and attention, and welcome to my blog. As a writer, I'm humbled that my writing has gathered this much attention to get such a passionate comment from you.
I'm quite comfortable with everything you said. Yes, I may be all that you've described me, and maybe both countries and the world would be in better shape without people like me.
I believe that it's absolutely your right to not-like and hang your judgements me on my blog; it’s a given risk to receive reactions to publicized claims of stupidity.
But there are a couple of things that I don’t understand about your comment:
One: Why do you bother?
Seriously, I really wonder. If you don’t like me, or my behaviour, or my determination on stupidity, why do you even read so much of my writings? Much less go through the trouble of posting a comment?
What good does it do you to tell me that I’m a promiscuous drunk and disgrace to my mother and father, God and religion? Does it really make you feel better about yourself?
Do you expect me to be discouraged and stop writing? Do you expect me to find the enlightened path and correct my behaviours? What’s the point in commenting?
Two: What’s with the anonymity?
What are you afraid of? If you really believe in the words that you wrote, why are you afraid to state your identity?
It really bothered me at the beginning to find an anonymous comment. But then I started to figure you out.
I know you; you’re the kind of person who made my adopted country and religion seem so rigid and sad. You’ve reminded me of so many things that I still don’t like, and don’t want to become, whether I’m pious and sober or not.
It’s always nice to remember.
Cheers,
My Dear Hning,
Why do you have a comment section, if you going to get irritated when people comment on your blog!? The only blog where people don’t comment on is the one you keep under your pillow, and its called a diary.
It’s really funny how all bloggers stick to the same line about anonymous comments, accusing the person of being a coward, or trying to hide his identity, when in fact all bloggers are anonymous. Anonymity is what gives you the backbone to write all the thing you wouldn’t write otherwise. So whether I state my identity, or not, it really doesn’t matter, the fact still remain that you still wouldn’t know who I’m, and I don’t know who you are. I also don’t have a blog account to start with anyway.
Now, why did I bother commenting on your blog, well I seen that poem, and it just irked me, so I started checking some of your writing. As for your comment, people like me reminding you how rigid and sad your adopted country was, I can assure you that can’t be any further from the truth, I’m just a moderate Moslem, who practice his basic Islamic teaching. While a lot of the restrictions in Saudi Arabia were brought about due to the social structure of the country, still some of the rigid believes like you called it has to do with religion.
Again, like I mentioned to you before, you are not rebelling against social issues, but rather against religious one, when one sneak out of the house with one’s BF early in the morning, and do God knows what,now are you breaking a man made law, or are you breaking God orders ??? You are only bothered about how rigid the country’s laws are and the fact that you might get caught, but you don’t seem to care too much about what God thinks of you.
Sorry about the long comment, and about my intrusion into your blog, and sorry if offended you, did not mean any harm.
Dear Anonymous,
No harm done.
By all means, I really enjoyed reading your long and thoughtful comment. For what it's worth, I agree to most of the things you wrote.
Yes, I do take God for granted, and there is no justification to the wrongs I do. No matter how deep the shades of grey bends, once the line is crossed, what’s wrong remains wrong. And there’s no excuse for it.
I have a lot of problems about the adopted country. I’ve got a lot of problems with a lot of other things too. That’s just the fuel that keeps me writing: If the issue isn’t Saudi Arabia, then it’d be mouthfuls of Indonesia, gender, or hazardous mosquitoes cannibalising my flesh in this tropical climate. You can relate any of the topics up there with whatever religion you believe in, because what’s so cool about religious-correctness; you just can never be too careful who you’re going to offend next.
Religion is not the context or Terms-of-Defiance to my irksome behavior; because He’s already stated His opinions, and we don’t argue with Him, do we? I know the scriptures, the testaments and all the orders. I know them. But I choose to misuse my rights to the God-given freewill; out of pure lust for life, whatever it’s worth. Somehow, despite knowing, I still manage to segregate my cognition and identity.
At least for the time being.
I apologize if my writings scathe more than borders and politics and society, and for whatever irk I’ve caused you as a Muslim. I try not to identify myself as Muslim while at the same time brag about my hedonistic lifestyle. At least not in the same post.
Oh, and thanks for that note on Anonymity. I don’t mind anymore with whatever makes you comfortable, just as long that you keep commenting as wonderfully thoughtful as you do.
Wishing you an irkless, pleasant day,
Hning
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